Parenting Toddlers:It's all about Action and Independence!
What is it about parenting toddlers? If you thought your baby boy kept you busy, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
Toddlers can be challenging for sure! Just listen to moms talking about their toddlers to get a glimpse of the challenges ahead: "He never stops! He is Mr Independent! He keeps me on my toes with his antics!" and so on and so forth. Some go as far as talking about their "little devils". Parenting toddlers is sometimes described as a nightmare. And I'm sure you've heard the "terrible twos" expression...
As soon as your little boy can walk with confidence and run, he is all movement! You have to keep your eyes on him all the time. Who said parenting toddlers was easy?!
What you need to understand is that boys this age have their own agenda. They are focused only on their own needs. And the agenda is action and independence.
I have mentioned the so-called terrible twos earlier. The term is a little bit misleading because that phase actually usually starts around 2 1/2. It's a time of opposition, aggression and anger that appears to be deliberate and willful. Between 18 months and 2 1/2 toddler boys still appear mostly loving and affectionate. They are also very active and searching autonomy but it is usually better perceived by parents than the later phase.
Yes, parenting toddlers is challenging some days, but the way you react to your boy's search for autonomy and high level of activity is very important!
Research has shown that boys are more active than girls and are usually behind in terms of language development. They also tend to get frustrated more easily than girls, probably because of their less developed language abilities. They don't seem to be as interested in the reactions of the adults around them. All this leads to stronger reactions from parents in response. They are parenting toddler boys differently from the way they are parenting toddler girls.
In babies, gender doesn't seem to be important for the level of activity. Individual temperament seems to be more important. The differences by gender start to appear around 10 months. Boys become less compliant than girls. This difference between genders will increase between 1 and 2 and keep doing so until school age. At that stage, the majority of boys are more active than girls, regardless of their temperament. Because of this main difference, parents need to manage their boys' activity levels.
One important thing you need to keep in mind when parenting toddler boys: they do not understand the link between cause and effect. Because of this and his activity level, your toddler can turn into a tornado! You need to anticipate and keep an eye for "problem situations". This is important to protect your house from destruction and to keep your boy safe. ;)
Toddlers cannot control their impulses. If your toddler boy kicks or punches just after you told him explicitly not to and looks at you straight in the eyes while doing so, it does not mean he does it to provoke you. He is just acting in an age appropriate way and you should not tell him he is a bad boy. It is better to tell him "No", "Stop", "We do not do that", etc.
Don't get me wrong, they DO need discipline, but NOT retaliation such as corporal punishment. It is always important to keep age appropriate behaviors in mind when parenting toddler boys. By the time your toddler is 3, he should start to be in better control of his impulses. After reading all this, you are probably wondering what has become of the close bond that once existed between mother/father and baby boy. Well, the bond is still here, it's just different! In this time of action, it's more of an "on and off" thing. What is important for your toddler is to know that you are here "in case".
This is where boys differ from girls. Research has shown that boys don't check their moms so much when playing. Little girls tend to make eye contact with them often and search their approval. Boys still need their mom as much as girls do, it's just less obvious.
The challenge in parenting toddler boys is finding the right balance between allowing them to assert their independence and being present to support them emotionally. It's a fine line and nobody gets it right 100% of the time! Trust me, there is no specialist at parenting toddlers, they make sure to keep us on our toes! ;)
Let's look at the development of your toddler now, because knowledge of age appropriate behaviors is a useful tool when parenting toddlers.
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